Complicated
by Narrator63
Summary: With all the lies and secrets surrounding the LA Institute it was easy to see why it's inhabitants thought things were difficult. Unfortunately for them things were about to become even more complicated.
1. Chapter 1

**Complicated**

Disclaimer: I do not own anything.

AN: I originally started to post this story earlier in the year. I have recently decided to fix the corner I had written myself into and re-post. That being said the first chapter is still pretty much the same.

Rating: M (just to be on the super safe side)

Chapter One

"Why lie?"

Emma stared at Mark in shock, this was definitely not what she had expected when she had come to him with her request. A long time ago Mark having said that would have set her heart a flutter but things were different now and she didn't even entertain the idea for moment before she was shaking her head sadly.

"That wouldn't be a good idea" she replied softly. There was one thing she was certain of, her heart belonged to Julian and regardless of the heartache it caused her it always would. One day she would have to move on but today was not that day and her heart certainly wasn't ready to even try.

"Are you sure?" Mark asked just as softly, "It would provide both of us with a welcome distraction". His thoughts turning to his own failed relationship with Kieran, and that speck of jealousy he had felt when he saw Christina in her room this morning, the reasons behind which he wasn't ready to explore just yet.

"Yeah, I'm sure. It wouldn't be fair to either of us" Emma said, hoping Mark would understand it was for the best but that he would still agree to her plan, she desperately needed her plan to work for it was the only way she had to protect Julian.

"So you don't actually want to be together but you want to pretend we are?" Mark replied, making sure he had an understanding of the situation.

Emma sighed, when put like that it sounded crazy.

"Look Mark I know it is crazy but it is the only way I can think to save Julian, please I need your help" Emma could feel the tight control of emotions slipping. She needed to get Mark's agreement, so she could be alone and finally give in to the emotions that were desperately fighting to break free of her control.

"But you aren't going to tell me why this will protect Julian?" Mark asked, still not completely committed to Emma's plan.

"I would if I could" Emma knew she could trust Mark but she didn't want to burden him with her and Julian's secret. Instead she looked at him, her eyes begging him to trust her.

Silence filled the room as Mark looked back at Emma, he could see the desperation in her eyes and her absolute desire to protect Julian at any cost. And in the end that is what made him decide to agree to her crazy plan. He may not know all the details but when it came to protecting his younger brother, he knew there was no one fiercer then Emma. So if she thought it needed to be done then he would help her.

"Okay, let's do this"

After Mark agreed to her plan, Emma had quickly shooed him from her room with promises to talk tomorrow. Her emotions were completely frayed and she needed to be alone. Once she was sure Mark had gone, she locked her door, crawled on to her bed and finally let herself lose control.

Hours later Emma woke from a fitful sleep, she didn't know how long she had cried for but eventually she had cried herself to sleep and now her head was pounding and her eyes were swollen and sore. She needed some fresh air so getting out of bed she slipped silently out of her room and down the dark hallway, sometime during her breakdown night had fallen and the residents of the institute had long gone to bed and the place was eerily quiet. Silently she padded through the familiar halls and quickly found herself out the front of the institute. Breathing in the fresh air, she felt herself becoming calmer, she may have a fear of the ocean but she still found the smell of the salt air relaxing. Making her way down to the beach. She felt herself relax even more as she walked, she refused to think about anything other than the cool breeze coming of the ocean and the warm sand under her feet. Everything else could wait, right now all Emma needed was to relax and forget about her troubles for a little bit. Finally reaching the end of the beach she sat herself down on the sand and looked out over the ocean.

As she sat, she let her thoughts wander. So much had happened lately and she had barely had any time to process any of it. Her parent's murderer had been discovered and dealt with, Tavvy had been kidnapped and rescued, and the Clave had discovered the secrets they had been hiding and yet had left with so many more undiscovered. The biggest being that Julian had been running the institute since he was twelve, Emma still wasn't sure how he had done that without her finding out sooner but it went to prove his devotion to his family and regardless of her feelings for him she wouldn't let anything happen to him that would take him away from them.

She sighed, of course her thoughts had come back around to Julian and their relationship. It's all that she seemed to think about lately. Just then a noise caught her attention and as she looked up she saw the person on her mind walking towards her.

"Julian" she whispered quietly

Even though it had been the barest whisper of sound, Julian's head whipped up and he caught sight of Emma. Anyone else probably would have missed the slight stiffing of his posture but even from this distant Emma could see the tension that entered his body at the sight of her. Clearly their earlier conversation had been playing on his mind and he too had retreated to the beach in search of some peace.

Quietly he made his way over to her and gently sat beside her.

"We shouldn't be here together" Emma said quietly not looking at her best friend.

Julian didn't respond right away, instead he just stared out into the ocean as she had been doing. Finally, he looked over at her and said "Why not, we are still friends right? Still parabatai? Why can't two friends sit on the beach together?

"You know it isn't that simple anymore" Emma replied, trying to keep that calm feeling she had worked so hard to achieved. The mere presence of her parabatai sent her emotions into chaos, her desire to curl up in his arms and forget all their troubles warred directly with the knowledge that she needed to maintain distant between the two of them if her plan ever had a hope of working.

"It can be if you let it" Julian answered. "We have always comforted each other in the past, always been there for each other, why not now? It is what parabatai do after all right?" and with that he put his arm out, inviting her into his embrace.

Emma stared at him for a long minute before she scooted over and dropped her head onto his shoulder. Julian's arm came down to rest across her back and refusing to think about all the reasons it was a bad idea, Emma let herself relax into the familiar embrace. Being around Julian had always calmed her and now was no exception. Soon she would have to put her plan into action and then Julian would hate her but for now she just relaxed against him and let her worries fade away.


	2. Chapter 2

**Complicated**

 **Disclaimer:** Not mine, just borrowing these wonderful characters

 **AN:** Sorry for the long delay, I had kind of lost my muse for the story. But with the release of Lord of Shadows, it is back in fine form :) This story still takes place after Lady Midnight and does not contain any spoilers for Lord of Shadows. Chapter 3 is almost finished and I hope to have it up tomorrow.

Previously

 _Emma stared at him for a long minute before she scooted over and dropped her head onto his shoulder. Julian's arm came down to rest across her back and refusing to think about all the reasons it was a bad idea, Emma let herself relax into the familiar embrace. Being around Julian had always calmed her and now was no exception. Soon she would have to put her plan into action and then Julian would hate her but for now she just relaxed against him and let her worries fade away._

 **CHAPTER 2**

Julian sat quietly on the sand, the familiar weight of his best friend gently leaning against him. He had done a lot of thinking in the last few hours and he still didn't have any answers. He knew Emma was right, the danger of what they were doing was too great and if they ever got found out it would completely destroy the children and that was a risk that they just couldn't take. They were already hiding too many secrets they really couldn't afford to add another one to the pile. The children relied on Julian and Emma too much. And it was true, for as much as they were Julian's siblings, they were just as much Emma's kids as they were his. Emma had spent just as many nights tending to sick babies, patching up scraped knees, helping with homework and practice, reading bedtime stories and just being there for them as he had. Emma loved these kids just as much as Julian did and they loved her too. Julian knew all this; he knew their relationship had to stay as it was for the benefit of the children but there was a part of his heart that rebelled. That part of his heart where he had kept his love for Emma locked away. But now that he knew what it was like to kiss Emma, to touch her, to love her that part of his heart stubbornly refused to be quietened.

Julian sighed gently he knew they had to go back to just being parabatai, and he would do his very best to ensure that happen but he worried that his best wasn't going to be good enough, the pull he felt to Emma was strong and had only gotten stronger in the last few days. Was he really strong enough to resist it?

He had come down to the beach to find some peace, the institute had been too quiet and his thoughts too loud, he had been planning to let the sounds of the waves crashing against the shore drown out his thoughts for just a little while. Of course she had to be down here though, right from the moment he had saw her he knew he should have just turned around and left but he had been powerless to obey that rational side of his brain and had continued towards her.

Now she was snuggled into his side and if her breathing was anything to go by she had drifted off into a light doze. Turning his head towards her, the mass of curls was blowing gently in the light breeze, it had somehow come out of its tie during the night and was a mess from sleep, he loved it. He gently pressed a kiss onto the golden mess only to freeze as he felt her stir. Slowly she tilted her head up until Julian was staring into her sleepy hazel eyes, apologies formed on the tip of his tongue but before he could utter any of them. Emma captured his lips with her own and suddenly the world fell away and the only thing that mattered was kissing her back.

* * *

The next morning predictably found Julian in the kitchen making breakfast for his siblings who would soon start slowly to appear. The routine was always the same and Julian had it down pat. Tavvy of course would wander in first, sleepy eyed and still in his pajamas, the youngest Blackthorn was always the first up, even after everything that had happened to him recently. Next to show was Livvy, who would sweep soundlessly into kitchen and take her usual seat before pouring juice for her and Tavvy. Following her would be Ty who would entered the kitchen without a word but with less grace than his twin sister, preoccupied as he was bound to be with a book in his hands. He would take his spot beside Livvy and automatically reach out for the glass of juice he knows she would have prepared for him. This was Julian's cue to start serving, with three of his four siblings at the table it wouldn't be long before Dru found her way downstairs and moments later Emma would return from her run and the family would all sit down together to enjoy breakfast. It had been this way for years and was very predicable which was a blessing for Julian today as he found it almost impossible to focus on the task at hand as his thoughts kept going over the events of the night before.

 _Emma had said they couldn't be together one minute and the next minute she was kissing him. It was enough to make his head to spin and his heart to swell with raw emotions. Sure it was short lived and she quickly pulled away before fleeing back to the institute but the look in her eyes had him glued to that spot on the beach with a long time afterwards. Her eyes before she had fled had been a mixture of fear and heartache which told Julian two things, one she was hiding something from him and two she loved him just as desperately as he loved her. Which if that was the case, Julian wasn't giving up on their love. He would find a way to make this all work, he just had to._

Just then Tavvy stumbled into the kitchen and dragged himself up onto a chair, pulling Julian from his thoughts and as if on cue the rest of the Blackthorns made their appearance. Soon Julian had his siblings settled with their pancakes and he was just waiting on Emma to return from her run. But it wasn't Emma who appeared at the doorway of kitchen, instead it was Mark.

There was a happy chorus of 'Mark' as his siblings noticed their brother, and a shuffling of chairs as they moved to make room for him. Julian scrambled to get Mark a plate and serve him up some breakfast. He hated to admit it but he had totally overlooked the addition of his brother to the Blackthorn morning routine, in his distracted state he had been functioning on autopilot. His failure to include Mark filled him with guilt. Admittedly their brother's return would add a new dimension to the family routine that they would soon get used to but in the meantime Julian swore to himself then and there to do everything he could to make his brother feel at home. Mark for his part seemed oblivious though, he accepted the plate of pancakes from Julian with good cheer and sat himself down between Livvy and Ty, in the space the twins had made for their recently returned brother. After that breakfast preceded normally although Julian was very aware of Emma's unexplained absence and while Tavvy initially questioned Emma's whereabouts, the Blackthorns seemed to accept easily enough Julian's excuse that she had gone for a long run that morning and would be back later.

In fact, it seemed Julian hadn't been too far off the mark about Emma running, for when she finally made her appearance long after everyone had finished breakfast, she was wearing her runners and workout gear and looked like she had been for a decent run. She was clearly surprised to see him and although Julian didn't comment on it he suspected she had timed her return for when she thought the kitchen would have been empty. In truth, it would have been, if Julian had been focused on the after breakfast clean up rather than their kiss last night but the memories of it and the truth he had seen in her eyes kept replaying in his head.

After her initial surprise and before Julian could say anything, Emma headed straight to the cupboards and started searching for something to eat. Clearly she was planning on ignoring her parabati.

"The kids missed you at breakfast this morning" Julian said quietly. Though he spoke softly he knew she had heard him. He could see it in the way her body tensed at his voice and it caused pain to sliced at his heart at her oblivious reluctance to be in the same room as him let alone talk to him.

"Emma about last night…." Julian begun but Emma cut him off.

"It shouldn't have happened, I'm sorry Jules" and with that she stalked out of the kitchen.


End file.
